she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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