id be glad to
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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