I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
