Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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