Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
