She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
