If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize