He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
