Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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