i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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