Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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