Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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