playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
