How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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