just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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