The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
