Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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