Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
