I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
