Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
