he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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