Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
