East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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