My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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