I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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