I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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