i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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