Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
