I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
