You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
