My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
