I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize