Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
