Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I supernannyed him into submission
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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