I want to have your abortion
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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