So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
