I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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