All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize