im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
