Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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