apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
