I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
