I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
