I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize