Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
