I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
