I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
