Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
