I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
