I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Drake has all the answers
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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