How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
