Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize