I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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