It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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