she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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