She said her name was "party"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
