I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
