My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
