There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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