sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
