Pants 0. Shit 1.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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