On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize