Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
