Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
