I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
