WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize