I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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