Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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