So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You dont lie about slip and slides
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
