i already hear my dad disowning me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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